Tina Fey on How ‘30 Rock’ Would Do a Coronavirus Episode
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Tina Fey on How ‘30 Rock’ Would Do a Coronavirus Episode

Vulture asked several showrunners and writers how their characters would handle social distancing. For 30 Rock, they talked to Tina Fey and writer Sam Means. They wrote about what a coronavirus episode would look like for Liz, Tracy, Jack, Jenna, and TGS. As usual, it’s hilarious! You can read the entire thing in the press library.

Tracy has already contracted and survived the virus (“My snakes eat bats and then I use my snakes to practice French kissing, so it was inevitable, Liz Lemon!”), so he would declare himself an immune “green person” and set out to help. Tracy: “Like Mister Rogers said, ‘Look like the helpers.’” So, dressed as a firefighter, he would volunteer his time delivering illegal box jellyfish to the elderly.

Jack would try to get Liz to go to the secret GE island off the coast of Connecticut: “It will just be the top executives, any wives under 40, and yes, Lauer will be there, but only because it was built into his deal years ago.” Liz refuses to go because of her desire to be egalitarian but also because everyone would probably be barefoot. Pass. She would shelter in place like nobody’s business and still somehow dodge sex with James Marsden.

Kenneth would be the most prepared, having grown up Eighth Day Resurrected Covenant of the Holy Trinity and observing its End of Days Countdown Calendar, which is different from most calendars. “For example, we’ve only had Christmas twice, but Easter is every four hours.” Jack would offer to buy Kenneth’s cupboard of canned chickpeas for a million dollars, but Kenneth would just give him two cans for free. “Hoarding is a sin, sir! Just like skateboarding or riding a horse you’re not related to!”

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