Liz Lemon’s alter ego attempts to colonize your bedside table this month with her first book, Bossypants. Here, the woman also known as Sarah Palin’s better half ruminates on nervous exhaustion and Catherine the Great’s frisky horse.
What is your current state of mind?
On the verge of nervous exhaustion, but only for the last seven years.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A glass of wine at sunset on Fire Island. / No homework.
What is your greatest fear?
Child, loss or damage thereof.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Catherine the Great’s horse.
Which living person do you most admire?
Cathy Rigby. She was really good in that stage version of Peter Pan. No joke.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
People who are proud of their ignorance.
What is it that you most dislike?
People who mock education as elitist.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Living in New York City.
What do you most value in your friends?
A willingness to come uptown.
What is your favorite journey?
Pulling up to my parents’ house for Christmas. Just pulling up, though—not the whole drive.
What is your most treasured possession?
A photo of my parents walking around the Acropolis circa 1965. They look like a poster for Two for the Road.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
On what occasion do you lie?
During press junkets for movies.
Which living person do you most despise?
Osama bin Laden. Unless we think he’s dead by now, in which case that guy who holds up the GOD HATES FAGS sign.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Jeff and Alice Richmond equally, but only because they look exactly alike.
When and where were you happiest?
Anywhere, during the 2 to 24 hours after a successful joke.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would get 30 hours a day when everyone else gets 24.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Providing 200 people with a nice place to work.
If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
My husband and I would work less and my daughter would sleep more.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
September 12, 2001.
What is your favorite occupation?
Being between jobs but having a good one lined up in about a month or so.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Obedience and a long nose. (I might be a collie.)
Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Veruca Salt, Francie Nolan, Miss Havisham. That’s me in a nutshell, actually.
How would you like to die?
I would like to drop dead while introducing the “In Memoriam” clip package at the Emmys … on my 10,000th birthday.
What is your motto?
“Stop reaching for the stars!”