Tina Fey: I probably would have married Michael Jackson
Tina Fey, 40, made her name as a writer and performer on the US’s Saturday Night Live, where her impersonation of Sarah Palin earned her an Emmy. She writes and stars in TV comedy 30 Rock and plays journalist Roxanne Ritchi in new animated film Megamind.
Who do you find most attractive: Megamind (voiced by Will Ferrell ), Metro Man ( Brad Pitt ) or Tighten (Jonah Hill)?
I think out of those three I would go for Megamind because he’s very smart and I really do find the purple undertone of his blue skin very attractive. And he’s smaller than me. I like that. Not many people are smaller than me.
Megamind is your character’s nemesis. Is there anyone like that in your own life?
I don’t really have a nemesis like Megamind but I have hundreds of small enemies that fuel me. Everyone I meet I assume is out to get me and that fuels my fire on a daily basis.
You were also a journalist as the host of Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live. Are you obsessed with playing journalists?
I am one of America’s foremost fake reporters and I am going to have a fake show on CNN. No I’m not. It was fun to step into this archetypal Lois Lane type of character and I really like that in this story she’s a modern version of that – that she’s active and intelligent and she looks like Sharon Osbourne .
Is that a compliment?
It is. I really like how she looks. I like her short hair and I like that she’s brunette and I like that she has an ample can [bum]. I’m not going to lie to you, I really like how she’s drawn.
How are you dealing with your rapidly escalating fame?
I’m going to have really aggressive plastic surgery to make myself look more like Barbie. I’m going to have a series of surgeries.
You famously called Paris Hilton ‘a piece of s***’ after she guest-starred on Saturday Night Live. Have you run into her since?
No, but I didn’t see her much before that either.
You lost 30 pounds when you went from writer to performer on Saturday Night Live. Why?
I really think everyone on TV in any capacity is under more pressure to be better looking because everyone gets fake teeth and Botox – and I do mean everyone. Even your local weatherman has Botox. In some ways it’s a little weirder for everyone but the thing with the comedy ladies is maybe we just have better resources. Lucille Ball was a beautiful woman, so were Mary Tyler Moore and Gracie Allen. It wasn’t that the women themselves were unattractive but our styling, lighting and hair are much better now.
You’re famous for your glasses. Do you wear them all the time?
I only really need my glasses to see far away so I almost never wear them, only to drive or go to the movies. And I don’t have a licence to drive any more. It expired. I had a Chicago licence and in New York they want me to do 12 hours of traffic school. I can never put out the time.
What was it like being named one of People magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People?
The first instinct is to explain to them that they’re wrong but after that I’m not going to argue. But I’d be crazy not to realise I was a token entry on those lists. They have professionally good-looking people on that list and then they have me. They always throw a few oddballs in there.
You wrote 2004 film Mean Girls, starring Lindsay Lohan. What advice would you give her?
So many people ask me if I blame myself. No, I don’t, although I wish she would stay a redhead. When people ask me what advice I’d give her, I would always tell her: “You’re a redhead!” Seriously, it’s got to be very hard to be so famous so young with so much money. I think almost anyone would wipeout a little bit with that much money at that age.
How would you have coped with that much fame that young?
Maybe I would have had some weird marriage at 19. I probably would have married Michael Jackson.